We are pretty when we are faking.

c_onstant @ 2007-05-07T18:44:00

2007-05-07T22:45:37Z

i never thought words on a piece of paper could bring me to tears. but i cried.

my life is passing by and i've been watching it happen.

my oh my, it has been a while

2007-03-14T00:19:05Z

i dont remember the last time i even looked at livejournal, let alone posted something. my life as of recently has been moderately OK. despite my loneliness and constant boredom, im doing just fine. writing this right now is more of something to do but something is better than nothing any day. im pretty sure the only people on my LJ friends list are florida people, so let me just say if youre reading this i miss and love you dearly. all i need to do is hang in there for a few more months and ill be back home. i really really cant wait.

its amazing how much i thought i had to say before i started writing.

my past haunts me everyday. not one fucking day goes by....

well thats that i guess

c_onstant @ 2006-11-20T19:45:00

2006-11-20T23:45:20Z

But some things never get better 
like used cars and bad livers. 
















or broken hearts

blah blah blah la la la blah blah blah

2006-09-24T23:59:09Z

all i can say is that its funny the way life throws its curve balls.

"so whats another day to spend away from her and die a little more inside? its just another night to lie awake and wonder... i've written a thousand pages in her name and i just want to know, does she ever regret? does she miss our love? my soul has shattered and fallen to the floor. i still remember your face and how beautiful you were to me. when we were beautiful, together. looking back it was so beautiful. it could have been so beautiful. i remember."

c_onstant @ 2006-08-25T02:07:00

2006-08-25T06:07:39Z

You know that summer never stopped, I still pretend I'm there,
The band's in the living room,
The neighbors, they never cared,
So when I sat behind the drumset,
Your heartbeat's what I tried to play,
But with the kick and snare so careless, not in time,
So you got ahead of me, And I guess I'm still dragging behind.

c_onstant @ 2006-08-10T12:35:00

2006-08-10T16:33:23Z

jacks fucking mannequin today!

yess something to be happy about

c_onstant @ 2006-06-24T18:29:00

2006-06-24T22:30:17Z

ahh its good to be home.

c_onstant @ 2006-05-09T15:07:00

2006-05-09T19:13:01Z

THE BAMBOOZLE

EMANUEL
ALEXISONFIRE
THE RECEIVING END OF SIRENS
30 SECONDS TO MARS
METHOD MAN
PANIC! AT THE DISCO
SENSESFAIL
HIM
AFI

AIDEN
MONEEN
STRIKE ANYWHERE
ACCEPTANCE
SAY ANYTHING
UNDEROATH
SAVES THE DAY
LIFETIME
TAKING BACK SUNDAY

BEDOUIN SOUND CLASH
PAINT IT BLACK
STATE RADIO
I AM THE AVALANCHE
VAN STONE
MEN WOMEN AND CHILDREN
NIGHTMARE OF YOU
CIRCA SURVIVE
BYEHERSMILE
LAST PERFECT THING

AS CITIES BURN
THE NUMBER 12 LOOKS LIKE YOU
HE IS LEGEND
STRETCH ARM STRONG
THE FALL OF TROY
POISON THE WELL
THE BLED
EVERY TIME I DIE
FROM AUTUMN TO ASHES
CRASH ROMEO

ZOX
SOUND THE ALARM
PERMANENT ME
ENVY ON THE COAST
CUTE IS WHAT WE AIM FOR
A THORN FOR EVERY HEART
LIVING THINGS - CANCELLED
THE RIVERBOAT GAMBLERS
FLUFF MY BONER
PRYDE
THE ATTACK
CAPTURED BY ROBOTS

AWFUL WAFFLE
FIRE IT UP
GREEN LIGHT GO
THE MERCURIAL
TRANSFUSION M
MC LARS
DOWN BY NINE
THE ROCKIN 69'S
SOMEDAY NEVER
CAFFEINE
AND THEN THERE WERE MACHINES
ANCHORS FOR ARMS
OFF BROADWAY
RUDEBOY & THE SKANKIN' ZOMBIES

Oh hell yea i was there

c_onstant @ 2006-05-04T16:02:00

2006-05-04T20:08:07Z

remember the past. remember the pain. fix by forgetting. embrace the rejection. blinded by words. deafened by though. the concrete was cold. this childhood is over. erasing fueled by anger. anger fueled by blood. your blood, your choice, you fucked me up. grinding skin, scarred hands and red eyes. Is my work done? 1-2-3 and we're gone. kerosene burns away. water evaporates. we get a second chance. 1-2-3 and we're gone.

"make time slower, give me longer"

2006-04-19T18:02:29Z

so much to do so little time.
spring break...what a rush. I love it.
got people to see and places to go.

c_onstant @ 2006-04-04T15:28:00

2006-04-04T19:30:38Z

IF you had to pick a song to play at my funeral what song would you pick?

c_onstant @ 2006-03-16T20:24:00

2006-03-17T01:24:49Z

so heres the deal

i wanna know what you guys think about me. be 100% honest, your not gonna hurt me or whatevre im juts curious.

c_onstant @ 2006-02-21T19:45:00

2006-02-22T00:47:18Z

i miss you guys so much it makes me sick to my stomach.

"so leave yourself intact cause' i will be coming back"

updating from the hotel lobby

2005-11-24T23:10:57Z

i want to go home
i have no home =[

c_onstant @ 2005-10-10T12:10:00

2005-10-10T16:09:21Z

papers are being signed as i type for a settlement date on my house for the 15th of novemeber.

all i can see is the smiles fall asleep
and now im scared.

And just as i got some closure...everything re-opens

2005-09-26T03:03:53Z

October 28th, goodbye Florida, hello Vermont (or wherever the fuck my parenst decide to go)

see all those people on the ground
wasting time
I try to hold it all inside
but just for tonight
the top of the world
sitting here wishing
the things I've become
that something is missing
maybe I...
but what do I know

and now it seems that I have found
nothing at all
I want to hear your voice out loud
slow it down, slow it down
without it all
I'm choking on nothing
it's clear in my head
and I'm screaming for something
knowing nothing is better than knowing at all

on my own
on my own
on my own
on my own
on my own
on my own

without it all
I'm choking on nothing
it's clear in my head
and I'm screaming for something
knowing nothing is better than knowing at all

on my own

why is it so hard to move on?

c_onstant @ 2005-09-13T23:11:00

2005-09-14T03:13:10Z

I always catch the clock, its 11:11 and still you dont wanna talk

awesome time.

help.

The clouds were singing songs of fear and loss; In a perfect world i'd never know your name

2005-08-12T02:52:27Z

When all this pain is justified,
While all the time is passing by.
Now is when we clench our fists
Knowing we can fight through this.
The hours and days are gone.
The weeks and months are moving on.
Can't they see that's nothing gonna stop us now?

Broken wings
Have a home tonight.
No one is listening, no one is listening.
When darkness fell on the streets last night,
we never expected, we never expected this.

c_onstant @ 2005-08-07T21:12:00

2005-08-08T01:13:25Z

Here we go. A brand new day brings a brand new year and for so many reasons I'm taking a deep breath.

c_onstant @ 2005-07-30T21:24:00

2005-07-31T01:25:26Z

whats left of the dreams we had?
whats left of the hope we had?

nothing at all.

c_onstant @ 2005-07-29T19:57:00

2005-07-29T23:58:59Z

and i squint from the other side, you've built your bridge across these depths. so solid.... somewhat perfect

well decisions have been set in stone by now.

2005-07-23T02:16:08Z

im moving. i dont know when, but i doubt ill make it threw the school year. the one thing i dont want to do i drift away....im still here yet i feel so far away.

this was never what i wanted.

c_onstant @ 2005-07-01T21:55:00

2005-07-02T01:55:48Z

once again life has thrown me in a maze with no exit.

c-c-c-could you stutter

2005-06-25T06:03:24Z

saveeeee me.

oh wait...you can't

=[

c_onstant @ 2005-06-11T11:40:00

2005-06-11T15:40:57Z

disregard...